Most of us have had the misfortune to have the missionaries from the Mormon church turn up on our doorstep. Selling their particular brand of pseudo-Christian cultism. Figures of ridicule wherever they go, see in this banned animation how truly fruit-loop, racist and dangerous they really are. Apparently this animation was made by an ex-Mormon, for the 1982 documentary exposing the truth behind the church, called The God Makers.

Chuck's animated self seemed to spend a lot of time in what can only be described as classic 80s, homoerotic attire. (Check out that lovely side knotted scarf.) With tight white vests, or simply topless in tight pants. Being produced by Norris himself, I'm sure he missed the obvious in retrospect campness of the whole animated adventure that he entered into.

The rest of his crew, the "Karate Kommandos", would fight alongside Chuck against the evils of VULTURE, and their leader Claw. The Kommandos included brother and sister Reed and Pepper, Kimo a Samurai warrior, Tabe a sumo wrestler, and "Too Much" who was Chuck Norris's ward. (A bit of Batman and Robin about that.) In the opening credits, Chuck's name is mentioned 9 times, with actual footage of Chuck book-ending each episode. Ending with a moral lesson delivered by the great man himself.

Good old Chuck is the butt of many a joke on the Internet, and has been mentioned a few times on Weird Retro. From the 1983 video game Chuck Norris Superkicks, and his Kickin' Action Jeans. But the most popula Chuck Norris related Captain's blog posts have been the infamous Japanese Chuck Norris Action Sex Doll, from back in November 2014. And its sequel, the Chuck Norris Transgendered Action Sex Doll, from the beginning of April 2015. 

Now there have been a number of attempts to make a good Fantastic Four animated series over the years. All of them have failed. Possibly because the Fantastic Four, just really aren't that "fantastic". There was the 1967 version, 1994 they tried again, and more recently in 2006. But the biggest "fail" of them all has to be the utterly awful 1978 version, entitled The New Fantastic Four, due to the fact that the makers decided to replace the Human Torch with a cute little robot called H.E.R.B.I.E (Humanoid Experimental Robot, B-type, Integrated Electronics). As with many animated series of the period, it (and I find I'm repeating myself with this) only ran for one season of 13 episodes. The show was first aired on NBC

There are rumours abound as to why the Human Torch wasn't included in the series. Which include the wild urban legend that the makers thought that the Human Torch was an inappropriate role-model for kids. That his ability to set himself on fire, may influence kids to try and become a human torch themselves. All complete rubbish. The truth is simply that the rights to use the character had been optioned to Universal Studios, for a possible pilot TV movie and series of the Human Torch. And so the executive decision was made to replace him, not with another wise-cracking superhero, but with a cute robot with no discernible super-powers at all. Now some cynics claim that Stan Lee introduced H.E.R.B.I.E the robot side-kick, as a blatant rip-off of the popular robot side-kicks R2D2 and C3PO from Star Wars, which had been released only a year earlier in 1977.   

The show was briefly revived in the July of 2012, with some major changes. When the Disney company, who originally distributed the show re-cut, edited, and re-dubbed some of the scenes from The New Fantastic Four. They turned them into self-referential and irreverent comical shorts as part of their Disney XD's Marvel Mash-Up shorts for their "Marvel Universe on Disney XD" block of programming. 

Saturday morning  kids animation series from the 80s. The story of a magical Rubik's Cube called... Wait for it... Rubik! The premise being that Rubik had fallen off the back of an evil magician's stagecoach, and was found by the three Rodriguez kids. Rubik could only be brought to life, if he was solved. Luckily the Rodriguez kids were among the few people able to solve the puzzle cube. Once solved, Rubik possessed magical powers and had the ability of flight. The show featured some tense moments, as the kids struggled to solve Rubik, in times of dire need. For some unknown reason Rubik had no arms, just a head and legs that appeared out of the cube. (I'm really not making this up, and I've not had any drugs!) 

The show aired on ABC in the United States for only one season of 18 episodes from 1983 to 1984. It was shown in a double bill with the Pac-Man animated series. With the kids being Hispanic, the the makers kept up the theme with the opening titles song performed by the 70s Puerto Rican boy band Menudo. The bands line-up changed throughout the years, and once featured the singer Ricky Martin for a period during the 80s. The Rubik theme is a pre-Ricky song however.

Originally an hour long animated series from Hanna Barbera, CB Bears was split into two 30 minute shows on syndication. Shows became CB Bears and Heyyy, It's The King, and were first aired in 1977. As with most Hanna Barbera animated series, it only ran for one season, or 13 episodes. And again like most of them, it was repeated regularly through the late 70s and into the 80s. The show was later shown on the Cartoon Network in the mid-90s. The original hour long show featured six separate segments.

On syndication CB Bears featured the CB Bears themselves, 3 trash-collecting bear crime solving detectives. They had a striking resemblance in both look and character to the Hair Bear Bunch. Also featured were Blast-Off Buzzard and Crazylegs the snake, which was a non-speaking segment almost identical in style to  Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner.  And finally they had the Posse Impossible, made up of  Sheriff of Saddlesore, and his posse of cowboys.

Heyyy, It's The King featured the Fonzie (from Happy Days) like king, and his band made-up of school mates. Undercover Elephant and his sidekick Loudmouse the Mouse who work for a detective agency and solve mysteries. The joke being that whatever Undercover Elephant disguised himself as, he always looked like a big blue elephant. And finally Shake, Rattle & Roll,  three ghosts who run a hotel for ghosts and other supernatural creatures. 

Back in 1980s and 90s, there was a rise in paranoia from the right-wing Christian fundamentalists, that kids TV shows were the work of Satan. That characters like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, He-Man and the Care Bears were brainwashing kids to fall under Satan's command. 

And one the top crazies peddling this utter nonsense was an author called Phil Philips. Who claimed after he "studied over a thousand hours of cartoons", that they were full of occult messages and satanic practices. His book Saturday Morning Mind Control, published in 1991, was just one of fanatic Phil's works of raving religious lunacy. He had previously published Turmoil In The Toybox in 1986, which argued that the Smurfs, He-Man, Care Bears, My Little Pony, Cabbage Patch Kids, Mighty Mouse and Rainbow Bright are all the devil’s toys concocted in the deepest layers of hell to lead our children to doom. (Actually he may have a had point with Cabbage Patch Dolls.)

He followed that up with Halloween And Satanism (1987), then Saturday Morning Mind Control (1991), and finally Dinosaurs: The Bible, Barney, and Beyond (1994). An indictment of the evil nature of the big purple singing and dancing demonic dinosaur. 

Turmoil In The Toybox attempts to claim that toy makers purposely use pagan symbolism in toy design. My Little Pony unicorn? Pagan! He-Man? Totally pagan, no question! Yoda and Darth Vader? Big bad pagans! Barbie? A godless pagan worshipping slut! Now rational people can laugh and poke fun at Phil's crazy Christian ravings, but there must be plenty of brainwashed fundamentalists out there who fell for his idiocy. Chucked out all the plastic, turned off the TV and shoved a copy of the Bible in little Johnny's hand. As later copies of Turmoil claimed it had sold over 135,000 copies. 

Originally a Japanese manga series in the late 1950s by manga and anime artist Tatsuo Yoshida, Mach GoGoGo was developed into an animated series in the late 60s. The story of teenage race-car driver Gô Mifune (known as "Speed Racer" in the American version) who aspires to be the world's best with the help of his friends, family and his father's high-tech race-car, the Mach 5. The series was originally syndicated to the United States, and ran for 2 seasons, totalling 52 episodes. With some of the violence of the Japanese animation cut, and redubbed it became an instant cult classic, that inspired an over-the-top colour saturated CGI movie in 2008.

His often repetitive adventures centered around Speed's car built by his Pops (the Mach 5), his girlfriend Trixie, his little brother Spritle (with his pet chimp Chim-Chim), and his mysterious brooding older brother, Racer X. 

The show's success in the United States spawned a whole Speed Racer franchise, ranging from comics, video releases, merchandise, the live-action film, and new animations in the 1990s and 2000s.

It's Saturday, so time for another vintage morning kids TV animation from Hanna Barbera. Based on the fictional Chinese detective, the character of Mr. (Charlie) Chan was played by Keye Luke. The only actor of Chinese decent to ever play the character. Luke played Charlie Chan's "number one son", in the movies of the 1930s and 40s. He also played the original Kato, in the Green Hornet movie series, as well as Master Po in the 70s series Kung Fu, and Mr. Wing in the 1984 movie Gremlins.

In the animation series, Mr. Chan, his large clan of children and their dog Chu Chu solve mysteries. As with every Hanna Barbera mystery solving team, the Chan Clan had their vehicle, a van that could transform at the press of a button. In addition the series borrowed the idea of a band from animations like The Archies. So each episode featured a song, which was played over an action sequence. Ex-Archies lead singer Ron Dante provided the vocals for the songs. 

Like many Hanna Barbera animations, The Amazing Chan And The Chan Clan had only one season produced, made up of 16 episodes. Originally aired from September 1972 until December that same year. Though as with many of the Saturday morning animations, it was shown on repeat throughout the 70s, and into the 80s on syndication. The show is still shown on reruns today, via Cartoon Network's sister channel Boomerang. 

Soju (소주) is not only the most popular alcoholic drink in Korea, but the best selling in the whole world. Never heard of it, or at least never drank it? Well that'll be because Koreans have the highest consumption of spirits per capita in the world. And soju, and in particular the Jinro brand is the most popular drink of choice. Jinro soju regularly sells 3 times as much as popular whiskey brand Johnny Walker, and over twice as much as Smirnoff vodka, globally! On highest selling brands of spirits globally, two soju brands have held 1st and 3rd place for may years. And most of it is consumed in South Korea.

Traditionally made from rice, wheat or barley, soju is essentially water and ethanol. That's it! In fact these days, with the high consumption, manufacturers have tankers pure ethanol shipped in, which they water down and filter. ABV varies from around 16.7% to 45%, with 20% being the most popular.

Soju was first distilled around the 13th century, during the Mongol invasions of Korea. The Mongols brought the technique of distillation with them, and the Koreans quickly adopted the technique, and have been getting hammered ever since. These days everywhere in Korea posters advertising soju featuring young sexy ladies, enticing Koreans to drink the liquor (not that they need enticing). Back in 1959, they used frogs, sailors and of course sexy ladies!

Continuing the theme of Hanna Barbera Saturday morning animations, just had to do Hong Kong Phooey. I couldn't believe like many Hanna Barbera animations that Hong Kong Phooey only lasted for one season, of 16 episodes. Originally aired on ABC between September and December 1974. 

The character of Hong Kong Phooey was the alter-ego of mild mannered janitor Penrod "Penry" Pooch, who worked at a police station under the ever watchful eye of Sergeant "Sarge" Flint. Penry transforms himself into Hong Kong Phooey by going into a magic filing cabinet. When upon he'd always get stuck, and have to be released by Spot the cat.

Once transformed into the eponymous superhero, he'd fight crime by referring to his The Hong Kong Book of Kung Fu. Our inept hero would usually me saved from misadventure by Spot, or as a inadvertent side-effect of his actions. Like many crime fighting animation characters, Phooey had his vehicle. The Phooeymobile, which transforms itself into a boat, a plane, or a telephone booth depending on the circumstances by banging his gong or changes automatically whenever necessary.

Each episode begins with Rosemary, the telephone operator, getting a call. Explaining the crime to Sergeant Flint, upon which Penry, transforms himself into Phooey, whom Rosemary has a crush on.

Hong Kong Phooey was voiced by Scatman Crothers. Sergeant Flint was voiced by Joe E. Ross, best known as Officer Gunther Toody in the early '60s television series Car 54, Where Are You?. As Flint, Ross revived Toody's famous "Ooh! Ooh!" exclamation. Sergeant Flint was very similar both in voice and appearance to Botch, assistant zookeeper at the Wonderland Zoo on Help! It's the Hair Bear Bunch, whom Ross also voiced.