Banned By Facebook: The Nipple Police Strike Again!
The original image has been censored to avoid offence.
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Facebook's "nipple police" have struck again, and Weird Retro has been handed down a 3 day ban for posting a link to a post from the Captain's Blog onto the Weird Retro facebook page. The offending post has since been removed from the facebook page by facebook's nipple Nazis, but was entitled Weird Music: The Ladybirds, Not The Only All-Girl Topless Band In The 1960s. Funnily enough though, while the post was up for only a few hours over-night it received the highest number of hits for any single post in the whole of December. There must have hundreds of incredulous facebook users clicking on the link, reading the story of The Ladybirds, and being so offended by the accompanying small grainy black and white photos of women celebrating their beautiful semi-nude bodies, that they felt compelled to go running straight to facebook. Clicking on the "report post" link frantically, before they ran to the bathroom to wash their eyes with bleach, and seek counselling for the irreparable damage the sight of tiny pixelated black and white nipples had done to their delicate minds.
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To put things into scale, we have recreated at great expense the image as it would have appeared on the Weird Retro facebook page timeline. The process of recreating this image, so as not to offend anyone, involved Photoshop, a pair of tweezers and a powerful scanning electron microscope. With the offending nipples on the image being less then two blurry pixels across, our team of highly trained scientists worked ceaselessly to ensure the exact pixel perfect placement of the facebook censorship logos.
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Satan's Angel wondering why we've even censored her already pasty covered nipples.
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Now let's put all this into perspective. The post, was a link to the aforementioned article, with the recreated thumbnail image attached. Surely no-one could be offended by that? And please don't tell me that those 2 pixel wide nipples on the thumbnail gave some prudish granny accidentally surfing through Weird Retro, a minor heart-attack. So the assumption is then that among the couple of thousand people who saw the link on facebook and reported this debauched piece of sickening pornography, must have clicked on the link. To see for themselves what a twisted Sodom and Gomorrah the website must be. Like the hundreds of others, who viewed it, and the many that "liked" it. There they were presented the most depraved images known to humankind. Only a few hundred pixels across, in black and white, never-the-less there they were. Small, greyish, perfectly formed nipples!!! Except for Satan's Angel, she had pasties on, in her photo. Maybe the poor unfortunate was so overcome with grief, they didn't notice the tassles on the ends.
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Now maybe it was my mistake, these images were from a much freer period in history. The 1960s, when people just let it all hang-out. When people weren't afraid to celebrate the naked body, everyone was having "love-ins" and flopping their rude bits around muddy fields listening to Jimi Hendrix. Now we live in much more puritanical times, where facebook and its small minded minions want us all to button-up, not dare to display a hint of shocking ankle for fear of destabilising the whole of the world economy. Where black-ops agents snatch smut peddling offenders such as myself from our beds at night, and drag us bound and gagged before a McCarthyesque kangaroo court, before being burnt at the stake for crimes against humanity.
Thinking about the original post, and The Ladybirds from Denmark. And Danish cultural attitudes to nudity in public, never mind on the likes of facebook. How do they cope without the whole county being banned by facebook on a daily basis. Surely you can't even take a selfie in Denmark without being photobombed by the odd nipple or two. |
In Denmark, nipples are celebrated, and displayed with great pride!
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Weird Music: The Ladybirds, Not The Only All-Girl Topless Band In The 1960s - The infamous blog post about the equally infamous 1960s band, and their little known Danish sister band.
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Banned By Facebook - Boobs and bans! Falling foul of the notorious facebook nipple police. Self censoring and the furtively placed facebook logo. (Our original article about facebook bans.)
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Weird Retro Fact: Wild, Wild World Of Jayne Mansfield (1968), is a cult mondo movie that features the only known footage of The Ladybirds performing on screen at the Blue Bunny club in Hollywood. The movie is also renowned as being the posthumously slapped together documentary to have footage of Jayne Mansfield before her death in a car accident in 1967.
*** New-flash... Latest Nipplegate Update ***
Just as this article was posted to the website, facebook have added to the existing 3 day ban because of the image below that has been on the facebook page for a couple of years. The 3 day ban has now been extended to 30 days!!! As images get pulled from facebook, we'll republished the facebook "safe" versions here! :)
Tijuana Bibles: Comic Book Porn In Your Pocket - The salacious story of early underground comic books, generally known as Tijuana Bibles. Little 8-page, wallet sized piece of pornography.
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Banned 80s Arcade Game: Lover Boy - Bizarre doesn't even begin to cover this Pac-Man style vintage arcade game, that unbelievably featured rape as its central theme.
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