Top Ten: Christmas Slasher Movies
There exists a sub-genre of the slasher movie, based around the theme of Christmas. During the history of slasher movies, basing them on a specific date or a holiday has been a selling theme. So Christmas had to be covered at some point by slasher film-makers. One of the most infamous and one of the first was Silent Night, Evil Night otherwise known as Black Christmas (1974). However during the 80s and into the 90s, at the height of the slasher genre a number of Christmas themed movies appeared. With unimaginative comic names, like Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) spawning 4 sequels just in the 80s and early 90s. Or movies that played on the name of Santa Claus, such as Satan Claus (1996) or Santa Claws (1996). Most of these movies were terrible slasher cash-ins, but well worth a watch if you're looking for something that isn't sickening saccharin this Christmas.
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The Best Of The Worst Weird Christmas Movies - Let this be a warning to you. Clicking on this link means you are exposing yourself to some of the worst movies of all time. Happy Christmas!
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Bad Santa: 12 Creepy Christmas Clauses - From a drunk department store Santa to a happy hirsute hobo. We all love a dishevelled dude in a Santa suit.
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Santa Claws (1996): A really bad would-be slasher movie. A young lad witnesses his mother having sex with who he thinks is Santa, ends up killing them both and grows up into homicidal maniac who dresses as Santa. (Sound familiar? Yep! The basic plot to most slashers!) He becomes obsessed, with a 'scream queen' star who he stalks while she is making a movies called "Scream Queen Naked Christmas" (appears later on this list). Written and directed by John Russo, who co-wrote Night Of The Living Dead. The only (and I mean only) redeeming thing about this movie is the lead actress and cult scream queen Debbie Rochon displaying plenty of T&A. That's it!
Satan Claus (1996): Axe wielding Santa Claus stalks the streets of New York on Christmas Eve. A so bad-it's-bad movie. Badly shot, bad acting, little gore and bad special effects in what death scenes there are. "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to slay a slaying song tonight" sings the slash-happy Santa in the barely lit opening sequence, as he endlessly drives to, somewhere. In a scene that is used on a number of occasions, to pad out this sloppy piece of a slasher holiday hackfest at it's badly lit worst. The fact that you can hardly make out what's going on is probably a good thing.
Don't Open Till Christmas (1984): A British slasher flick, from B-movie actor Edmund Purdon in his first directing role. (He also starred in the movie.) Flipping the genre on its head, a maniac stalks the streets of London killing people dressed as Santa Claus, a variety of gruesome ways. A badly acted sleazy piece of British cinema, that being a Brit myself I actually have a fondness for, despite it being awful. It is one for die-hard fans of slasher movies, a proper Christmas turkey of a film that has influences of the worst of cheap exploitation British cinema of the 70s, despite being made in the mid-80s. But one of my personal favourites of the festive season.
Elves (1989): A young woman discovers that she is the focus of an evil nazi experiment involving selective breeding and summoned elves, an attempt to create a race of supermen. She and two of her friends are trapped in a department store with an elf, and only Dan Haggerty, as the renegade loose-cannon Santa Claus, can save them. (Directly lifted from IMDb, as I couldn't describe it better.) The fact that for anyone who grew-up in the 70s and 80s, that it has Dan Haggerty (Grizzly Adams) in it, makes it worth watching if nothing else. So if a bad horror featuring a sex crazed mutant elf, that at one point kills a department store Santa by repeatedly stabbing in his "Christmas balls" is for you, then this is a must see.
Scream Queens' Naked Christmas (1996): The movie within a movie, in that this is the movie that Debbie Rochon was making in Santa Claws, by John Russo. Not exactly a slasher movie, as the "slasher" introduces the scream queens who do a series of cringe worthy stripteases, interspersed with stock footage from Santa Claws. The movie has almost no redeeming qualities, apart from it being a quirky little piece associated with the aforementioned movie. That in a weird twist worthy of noting, it has a higher IMDb rating than the movie it is actually the movie within a movie of, what does that say about the pair of them?
Jack Frost (1997): On his way to his execution, a serial killer is involved in a car crash with a truck carrying genetic material. The result being that he is transformed into a mutant snowman. This is a horror comedy, what else could it be with a premise like that? Another one that is on my own personal list of festive flicks. Jack Frost was always destined to be a cult classic, with hysterical one-liners and death scenes. The movie has become most infamous for the bathroom rape scene, in which Jack Frost rises from the bath water and uses his carrot nose to screw his victim to death, coming out with immortal line "Looks like Christmas came a little early this year..." Yup! the film-makers really did go that far!
Christmas Evil (1980): (Also known originally as You Better Watch Out!) Okay, so you may have heard the plot somewhere before. It's Christmas Eve and a lad sees his mother being groped by his father dressed as Santa. Jump thirty-three years to 1980, and the now middle-aged Harry has decided that he is the true Santa, and will punish the naughty as an axe wielding maniac. Tah dah! However this is not a standard hack-and-slash movie, it does have some semblance of characterisation, the killings are sporadic, it has a genuine dark comic element to it. It's off-beat, and at times bizarre. For example the end *spoiler alert*... When Harry escapes at the end of movie, his van takes off into the night sky like Santa's sleigh... With a voice-over saying "Twas the night before Christmas!"
To All A Good Night (1980): So the plot of this one revolves around a group of sorority girls and their boyfriends being killed off during a Christmas party by a vengeful maniac dressed as Santa Claus. Yay!!! We shoot, we score with a plot so well trodden we know exactly what we are getting. The directorial début of David Hess, one of the stars of 1972's cult classic exploitation horror Last House On The Left. There really isn't much else to say about this utterly formulaic seasonal slasher. It has some good kills, which is what any fan of the genre essentially wants from a slasher movie.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984): Okay so here we go again... A young lad witnesses his parents' murder by a man dressed as Santa Claus, which causes him to grow-up into a Santa suited serial killer. He even has an axe! The weapon of choice for any self respecting Santa serial killer. The film caused an uproar when released in 1984 during the holiday season, and has developed a cult following as one of the most controversial movies of the 80s. Featuring one of scream queen Linnea Quigley's most well known death scenes. (After being eaten by zombies in Return Of The Living Dead that is.) The success (or controversy) of the movie caused an out-pouring of sequels within quick succession. Part two appearing in 1987, followed by part 3 in 1989 and part 4 in 1990 and part 5 in 1991. However these are much lesser cash-ins than the original, which is despite the controversy surrounding it a decent genre piece.
Black Christmas (1974): (Also known as Silent Night, Evil Night.) Not only considered the best of the Christmas slasher sub-genre, Black Christmas is credited with being one of the first ever slasher movies. A movie that utilized the first-person steady-cam view of the killer, long before Carpenter used it in Halloween (1978). Many of the elements that would become standard plot elements of the slasher genre started here. All done to great effect, as the enigmatic killer is built carefully through psychotic phone calls (as mimicked in the Scream series of movies), the killer in Black Christmas is one of the lesser known and much copied icons of the slasher genre. Not only the best of the Christmas slasher movies, but one of the best of all slasher movies.
Santa Theme Park In California - Sat in the mountains of Southern California, Santa's Village was the first ever franchised theme park. Opened in 1955, a month before Disneyland.
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The Dark Side Of European Christmas Traditions - Across Europe there are many dark and creepy figures associated with Christmas, whose folklore origins stem from pagan winter celebrations.
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Weird Toys Not To Be Found Under The Tree This Christmas - Before parents wrapped kids in cotton wool, and heeded recall warnings about dangerous toys. Things were much more fun!
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Take Off That Christmas Jumper, It's Not Ironic You Just Look A Twat! - Tis' the season for usually sane people to blow money on clothing they will only wear once, in order to look like an idiot.
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Xmas Games: Festive Freebies & Christmas Cassettes - In the heady days of early home computing, magazines often gave away festive themed cassettes to get us in the holiday spirit.
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William S. Burroughs: The Junky's Christmas - A dark take of heroin addiction and redemption, in a short story my Burroughs. Later made into a short film produced by Francis Ford Coppola.
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